| Take These Eyes and Bury Me, So That I Can't See Your Face |
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| remember me? |
[15 Apr 2005|12:10am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Homewood Suites (hotel) | Generic Jazz |
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well it sure has been a long-ass time. i sort of lost interest in this i guess. i've been really busy (?)
actually that's a lie; i haven't really been too busy. i've been pretty bored actually.
so here's some updates:
-i got into new york university's steinhardt school of education, the studio art program specifically
-i'm SO going there
-right now i'm on spring break, in DC, on the free internet in the 'executive office'
-i recently was reacquainted with my old best friend who moved to washington (the state) in 7th grade
-i'm planning on having him come stay with me after graduation
-life is still pretty boring
-less than one marking period until graduation
-i've been happier, kinda
-i had one of the best nights ever at adam's house a week ago or so... crazy times, saw many people i hadn't seen in a long while
i think that pretty much sums it up, at least all i care to share right now. as for the continuity and action that this livejournal is going to receive, i haven't yet decided whether to a) delete it, because i don't think anyone reads it anyway; or b) revamp it, and write as much as i had planned to months ago, and forget about whether or not anyone reads it because, after all, i write for me, not anyone else.
maybe i'm making too big a deal out of nothing.
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[04 Jan 2005|07:28am] |
i'm done with school.
i'm done with colleges.
i've been done with people.
and by done, that doesn't necessarily entail that i've completed all of my obligations... just that i'm done caring/thinking/worrying/concerning myself with them.
i mean school and colege are such bullshit anyway. people think that those thigns are just so totaly crucial, well i believe that being yourself, being an individual who thinks freely is more important. i don't have to follow the social trends or norms of this day and age in order to achieve a desired level of happiness. i know that i can do well without having to be a nother college-bound sheep for the taking.
and yet, i want to go to college. or maybe i just want so badly to get out of this place that the prospect of going somewhere expensive to learn has become more appealing. idk.
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[03 Dec 2004|07:46am] |
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mood |
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 shitty |
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music |
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poopy |
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life is a bitch. then you die.
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| 40 hour naps... |
[17 Nov 2004|03:28pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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music |
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Simon and Garfunkel | Sound of Silence |
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so my little brother (i think) gave me strepp throat and i have been out from school for the past 2 days, and by tomorrow i'll have gotten sick again from all the work i have to do. blah. i mean, what's the point anyway? report cards haven't been received yet, and next week is only 2 1/2 days long! we're not going to remember anything new, so they might as well just give us next week off. our school year is like 189 days or something, last time i counted.
work is good but very long. i usually don't work anything less than 4 hour shifts with a measely 15 minute break. but i get paid well and stuff.
in spite of the sore throat, fever, fatigue, stuffy nose and overall pooe health, i like being sick. my mom is nice and i don't have to go to school and be tired all day and deal with people. in other news, i wish columbia would hurry up and let me know their answer. i simply cannot deal with this dec. 15 business. i feel like they're leading me on.
3 friends sent me text messages today while i was ill and they made me feel special. that should happen more often.
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| first day on the job. |
[10 Nov 2004|07:34pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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U2 | Vertigo |
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i get paid for doing nothing. i love my job. liz, vicki, and collz all came to visit me. more people should come and visit me, but not all together, cuz then i might get fired.
today was the last day of the marking period and i must say that i am happy to know that 1/4 of the entire school year is finished. oh and all of those goals i had for myself about attaining a 4.0 at least one quarter, and making the honor roll all year... yeah that was just wishful thinking. in my defense, a person could have straight A's and one C+ and still not make the honor roll. so yeah school is just bullshit.
i'm going camping this weekend and it will most likely snow.
if i could, i would be a professional napper.
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| i'm a loser with no self-esteem. |
[09 Nov 2004|10:17pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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The Offspring | Self-Esteem |
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i'm tired and i never do any of the mountains of homework that is assigned to me.
i was in a good mood most of today.
it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
hung out with fran and talked about college crap.
i'm in love with that which i can never attain.
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[09 Nov 2004|07:26am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Sugarcult | Memory |
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so over my long weekend which was supposed to be realy awesome, i was dragged upstate in new york to visit syracuse and cornell. they were okay, but let's just make a long story short and say that my dad is an intrusive, pathetic asshole. i hate him. lots.
i got an interview (not an art interview) for columbia on sunday with a guy that seems really cool. hopefully he'll like me and get me accepted. we'll see how it goes...
i've been really ridiculously tired lately and i don't know why. it's like every time i try to wake up i just fall asleep again. i keep giving myself a few more minutes and a few more until i'm practically late. now i've always been kinda self-indulgent, but i think this is starting to border on something unhealthy.
i start work on wednesday and i'm excited.
nothing interesting or cool ever happens around here :-(
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| I voted. |
[02 Nov 2004|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Green Day | Boulevard of Broken Dreams |
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today i voted for the first time and it took all of an entire 30 seconds. and i am proud to say that i voted for Senator John Kerry. I mean frankly i dislike both presidential candidates, but they're realistically the only ones who have a chance. so i know that although kerry is basically bush leaning to the left wing in terms of his promises and plans, i voted for my own political proclivity. personally i plan on dclarung myself independent anyway. so yeah, i voted.
and my grades are seriously lacking. good thing i did early decision. if i don't get it, it means my schools are probably going to see my first marking period grades which is a BAD thing. so i better fuckin get in!
3 day week this week and i am leaving early tomorrow cuz i can. oh rapture.
nothing else to say. oh well.
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| finito. |
[01 Nov 2004|07:52am] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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The Shins | New Slang |
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so i finally finished my early decision to columbia, and i better fuckin get accepted. it took me forever to revise and edit my essay, but i did it. i waited until the last second, as usual, butnow it is all finished.
so i'm at school and signing in late so i can study for the environmental issues test i was supposed to take like a week ago, and this kid just got yelled at by our troll librarian. she's a beast. but it got me thinking that that same kid used to be my best friend in the eighth grade. jut goes to show the lack of interesting and worthwhile people in my town. i look at him now and i'm disgusted. he's rich and has great parents and a great family, but all i really see in him is a fat, lazy, obnoxious, conservative clone who knows nothing of politics or social skills. i can't believe i was ever really friends with him. i can't wait to get the hell out of here.
it's a 3 day week which has me smiling in my pants. much to do.
i still have about 12 applications to start and finish by dec. 1, or my mom will shoot me.
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| cutting it close... |
[29 Oct 2004|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Pink Floyd | Dark Side of the Moon |
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deadline for favourite school is monday. still have to finish essay and mail in artwork. wow.
i have to train tomorrow for the gap. i got the job. i deserve it.
my parents account for at least 65% of my unhappiness. and that's not even trying to be pathetic and angsty.
whatever.
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| it's almost the weekend again |
[28 Oct 2004|11:16pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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Sugarcult | Memory |
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...and it's right on fucking time.
i finally finished watching the first season of six feet under. i feel so accomplished. and yet there are like 12 more seasons, heh.
i think i got the job.
i'm sorry i can't think of anything else.
halloween is near, in case you didn't get the memo.
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| not for all the love in the world. |
[11 Oct 2004|02:46pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
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music |
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The Thrills | Not For All the Love In the World |
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so today was a delayed opening which rocks my socks. the day went by so fast and i got most of my portfolio stuff photographed which is terrific. i got a 75 on my history test which is okay cuz i barely studied. i got a 78 on my psych test which was like the loewst grade in the class... that's gonna be my one course to struggle in cuz i do no work. it's so funny that i can never read any books and bullshit an essay that most people fail on, but when it comes to being a good guesser at multiple choice or learning the methods of standard deviation, i just suck. i'm good at dumb things.
afterward karina and i went to cosi and ate a lot. then we came back and did math. i am very excited to have found, to my delight, that i now have an independent film channel (!). come over and watch indie flicks with me!
karina and i have this idea to make tee shirts with peace signs in place of stars on american flags and to wear the shirts around school, especially on election day. pre-college protest / political statements. hurrah.
other than my family being a disgrace, today was all right.
someone burn me the new green day!
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| uterus. |
[09 Oct 2004|07:07pm] |
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mood |
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recumbent |
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music |
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Velvet Revolver | Fall to Pieces |
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everyone see saved!
what a great movie. passes the time when you're grounded
racuous rogue &
vivid voltaire
you beauitiful anarchist
(i salute thee
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| hahaha |
[30 Sep 2004|07:13pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Skye Sweetnam | Tangled Up In Me |
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today's field trip to the dodge poetry festival sucked cuz it rained and i got muddy. i do lots of things to embarrass myself.
in other news:
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| poopy. |
[29 Sep 2004|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Garbage | Paranoid |
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i don't even want to start talking about today...
degrassi just randomly started over, and now it's a different episode that i don't like. bah.
l(
al
ea
ff
al
ls
)o
ne
li
ne
ss. -e.e.cummings (something like that).
so it's late and i'm updating and posting my tattoo pics, by popular demand. let's all welcome smelly, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xvelvet_crushx. welcome to lj, smelly! you're such a queerdo. i love you.
( ink on a pin, underneath the skin... )
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| feliz cumpleanos a mi |
[28 Sep 2004|05:11pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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Breaking Benjamin | So Cold |
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over the weekend i went to arabica with katie, rob and adam and then to steve's. it was all right. then on saturday night i slept at arod's, where i got r-i-p-p-e-d. it was so great. after all the stress and tension from school and all the bullshit, it's nice to completely lose all control and inhibitions. hooray for ceratonin.
so yesterday was my birthday as you all [should] know, and it was splendiforous. i skipped school and went to the city, where i bought a few vintage tees, some other cool things, and got my very first tattoo (!). it's an "om" symbol, which is Tibetan and stands for peace and wisdom. it is a universally-recognized spiritual symbol, and i'm proud to bear it on my forearm. did it hurt? yes. as much as i thought? no. as much as the nipple? no, but the nipple was one pinch, whereas the tattoo was a series of endless stabs by a needle into my dermis. i love it and i'm glad i got it and my folks dont know about either thing yet, which doesn't matter anymore because I AM 18! that's right, 18, and i can legally buy cigarettes and lottery tickets and porn with your mothers in it. and when i travel to foreign countries this next summer, i can even legally consume alcohol. and suddenly i'm realizing how many new friends i'm about to make.
today was spent showing people my tat and catching up on homework. not too bad. but at the end i was gonna drive jason home but matt's car died and i had to jump it, which was unsuccessful, so i drove totally out of the way to his house and then across town to jason's, during which the rain poured down. i am such a good person.
all done. i love holly.
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| today was a good day. |
[23 Sep 2004|07:43pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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music |
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Gavin DeGraw | Chariot |
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and that's the extent of my entry subject's profundity.
as much as i love the ups in my life, i wish it could maintain some level of consistency. for instance, i had an okay day, and awesome night, and a so-so rest of the evening. but that just isn't life.
my mom bothers me because she returned MY dvds even though they're not due till Sunday, and i didn't finished my 3rd one. this is like the fourth time she's done this. she can be so retarded.
so i stayed after school to work on my studio painting and then went to look at some new store in town and then to visit the hermitage neae my house cuz it's interesting. i got hungry again and we went to panera and then barnes and noble, finishing off with drinks from the A&P. i ate SO much, as usual.
field trip for creative writing next week, which rocks.
-if you're truly friends with someone, you don't bash their ethnicity even as a "joke" to their face repeatedly, especially when they happen to be better than you. you know who you are-
city on monday which is my birthday! anyone else wanna skip?
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| rip van winkle had the right idea. |
[21 Sep 2004|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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Garbage | Special |
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so i definitely am thinking of talking to some higher power about extening the normal 24 day to 28 so that i have 4 more hours of sweet, precious sleep. i'll have to get back to everyone on that...
school sucks big time and i am really stressing over everything. i need a break.
birthday count = 6 days -
i'm getting an "om" symbol tatooed on my right inner forearm, i've decided. and i plan on getting my labret pierced before thanksgiving. much to do.
i'm pissed that it's senior year and yet i have so much work to do... it seems so much more than previous years, even junior year. and i'm still avoiding the college bullshit, at least until i have more time and have adjusted... or until the due dates come perilously close.
i wanna go to a concert. like now.
and i want to go into the city for my big day with one or two friends. cuz i'll be 18 and all. as far as presents go, i accept cash and all major credit cards. i'm easily pleased.
must go now. new episode of nip / tuck.
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| gloomy sunday |
[19 Sep 2004|02:03pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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Candlebox | Far Behind |
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actually, it's a ridiculously nice day out. the air is crisp and cool and the sun is illuminating the translucent greens and yellows of the leaves that are tossed gently about my the whistling winds. and here i am, inside, doing homework.
i guess the every-day updating thing won't work out. oh well.
so on friday i slept at liz's and we did stuff. then yesterday i hung out with liz again and we watched movies and went to kim's party for a while, but liz got sick and we checked in early. it was pretty fun... for me... cuz i didn't get sick.
my birthday is coming up and i want lots of things... like a non-bush president. and an iPod. and the world. but no one ever gets what they really want.
this week will be bad because teachers can legitimately test us now and there's no shortened days and school is really gonna hit me. must... have... mind-altering substances...
i love my mom. and this new journal. it's so... rad. yeah, rad. the end.
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